Suigintou

Since I was pulled out of school in 2004, due to all the violence and bullying that was going on there, I started to go onto my parents’ computer more often, I started joining a lot of websites and forums, talking to people on AIM, and many other things. Then, on the 11th March 2005, the day before my birthday, I decided to create a mega-forum of my own. I stayed up all night tweaking it until I was forced off the computer, the next day I didn’t want to do anything other than go online to tweak my forum.
I got so addicted to my own forum because I had got it over 500 members, and way over 10K posts, though there was a lot of arguments between staff, and it was deleted, by me, on August 5th 2005, then about 30 minutes later I decided to re-make it, but on another forum server and with different staff members, we started getting our members back, and our posts, since 2005 to now, 2007, it has been making progress slowly, but I started to loose interest in it because it just started to bore me, plus I was getting interested in other things, such as SecondLife which I was addicted to since January to about June, as I got bored of that too.
Then, I got interested in Rappelz, which is a MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role Play Game).

And you know what the real shocking fact is of all this computer addiction I have?

I hardly ever go out-side and mix with the community, the last time I actually went outside to mix with people and to get fresh air was in March, though for the past two weeks I’ve been going to one of my friends house to work on some scripting with (Scripting as in advanced coding).

I’m also ruining my body by staying on the computer every day and night, my hands, wrists, arms, legs and back ache more than often, my wrists are always hurting, and because I’m squirmy when it comes to anything to do with the human anatomy I get paranoid and get scared, whenever I look at my wrists I see veins, and I keep thinking something might happen to them…

Whenever I wake up I go straight over to my laptop, which I got as a Christmas present last year, and boot up the internet and go onto MSN, and I stay on the computer until I get tired and go to bed, this is how bad my addiction is to the computer.

Even when I go on holiday with my parents and I don’t have a computer with me I start getting upset and want to go back home so I can get back online, although this year, I hope that having a laptop with me will make me want to stay on holiday, even if I don’t have the internet with me.

I bet many people who read this will say to me “Get a life!” Well, my reply to that is simple, I can’t go out and mix with anybody in real-life because I am too scared to, and way to shy. I’m very sensitive when it comes down to real-life, whether that is in my looks, or my emotions. I can only talk to people when I am online, I don’t even speak to my family much anymore. I’m pretty much a real-life mute. And this computer is the drug that makes me feel happy and safe, because I can get to know people better and in ways that I couldn’t in real-life, and if they say something that I don’t like, or talk about sex, I can just block and ignore them, which I wouldn’t be able to do in reality.

Anyway, this has just been about why I’ve been addicted to the computer, part 2 will be of the dark and horrible secrets behind the addiction, and the reasons to why the way I am today, and who I am today.
You’ll see what I mean when I publish part 2...